Trusting God

I sit here staring at an empty screen and a blinking cursor asking myself, “Is God really calling me to write?” If I am meant to pursue writing then why do I find myself sitting here drawing a blank? I have no idea what I am to write for this post but I do know that I need to write something. Why doesn’t He just miraculously give me the words to type? 

My Pastor said something in his last sermon that comes to my mind. “God does His part when we do our part.” This wasn’t meant in the “God helps those who help themselves” kind of way but in that God is not a genie in a bottle ready to grant every wish. We have responsibility in this relationship. 

I have spent the afternoon pouring over study notes, and things I’ve written in the past trying to get some inspiration for this post. I found lots of good stuff but nothing that said “this is it.” 

Then I found my notes from a practicum class I took at a writers conference in November 2020. I will just confess that at the time, I was in a place of grieving and seeking. I was grieving the loss of my mother, my ministry, and my church family. I was seeking God and asking why. I felt utterly lost. I went to this conference only at the insistence of a dear friend and I found more than I bargained for. 

Over the course of 4 days, our instructor took us on a journey through Scripture where God personally asked questions of certain people. She walked us through answering those questions for ourselves. It was powerful to say the least. 

The first question she took us to was, Where are you? Genesis 3:9

When Adam and Eve had sinned in the garden and God had come in the evening to walk with them and they had hid themselves, He asked this question. He knew where they were, He’s God. So what was He really asking?

I would like to share with you my answer to that question.

Where are you? 

I wrote: 

I am lost.

I am searching. Searching for direction. Searching for vision. Searching for purpose. Searching for an intimate walk with my Creator.

I am asking. What am I to do now? Where do I go from here? Was all that time wasted? Can it be redeemed? Should I even look back?

I am waiting and listening. Listening for His voice. Waiting on His presence. Waiting for His timing.

As I look back over my answer to that question, I see that God has brought me out of hiding into a place of renewing. And I am reminded that He does have a purpose for me and He has a purpose for you. 

Later in my journal I wrote: I am finding my faith. I am in love with God’s Word studying it, digging deeper, teaching its truths but somewhere along the line, I lost touch with the God of the Word. He shut down my busyness so that I could once again hear from Him and draw closely intimate with Him. 

So as I stare at a blinking cursor, questioning God’s call, I am reminded that I have a part to play in this relationship. I need to be more disciplined in my writing. I need to make more time with Him and His Word. I need to spend more focused time listening and seeking His direction. 

Then the words will come.

What about you? 

Where are you?